Medical folks like to try to get kids to pay for their disabled parents treatments.

So I got a small bill for my mom’s new glasses, $35.  OK, Mom is on both Medicaid and Medicare so up to now, all of her medical bills were paid by them.  So, why did I get a bill?   She’s had glasses for years and we were never asked to pay for that.  Also, is this just the first bill, will they send more?  More time by me to track that down and figure it out.  Bottom line, I’m not responsible to pay her bills.  She is not my child or my dependent.  I have no legal obligation.  So, I never have and I probably won’t. But Mom can pay it.  She has money she gets from both the government, and my brother and I give her money when she needs it. 

So, this is the fun of having a disabled mother who is poor.  But I’m so glad I have her so it’s really a small price to pay.   More later on this all.

Glasses, Rides for Mom and Holiday

I wrote last about the challenges I deal with in getting my mom medical treatment, right now being glasses. Well, I am so glad the eye doctor did see Mom and new glasses are on order.  Yay! 




Mom is super excited right now - because we are going to be spending Christmas day with her at her nursing home.  Some years we don't get to do that, or it's just me and her.  Last year my husband Roger and I just took her to iHop.  She's been calling me and my brother quire often - me just about every other day, checking on the planning, talking about the meal.  Gosh it is so nice to see her so happy. 




Over all these years we have always spent holidays with Mom.  When she was able to walk, she'd come to my home.  But in the last 4 years or so she is completely wheel chair bound, so it's more of a challenge to take her out.  Have to arrange with Pace Dial-A-Ride, which has a wheel chair lift.  But they are amazing.  You can't call more than a week in advance, and it only costs $4.00 each way, and if the rider needs a companion there is no charge for the companion.  Here's the web site:


http://www.pacebus.com/sub/paratransit/sd_dial_a_ride.asp




Well, have a very merry Christmas.  Enjoy your loved ones and thank God for the blessings in your life.

Getting Mom to Accept Medical Care

One of the challenges in caring for Mom has been convincing her to take advantage of medical help.  Right now Mom needs new eye glasses and at the nursing home where she lives eye exams and glasses are provided.   But if Mom says "no I don't want to see the eye doctor" then they don't schedule an appointment for her.


So I a) called the nursing home to get the name and number of their eye doctor, b) called that doctor myself and asked her to see Mom next time she is at the home, which should have been in the last couple of days.  Then I have to try to convince my mom to not refuse to see the doctor, which is probably the hardest part of the challenge.  I told her when I set up the appointment, and she actually got mad at me.  "Just get me glasses at Walgreens!" she demanded.  I did pick up a $35 pair from Walgreens and she couldn't see with them so I had to make another trip to return them.


Last weekend I took her to Walmart and she looked at all the glasses herself.  She picked out a pair of reading glasses which she did like, and will help some, but I know she really needs bi-focals. 


So I will need to follow up with the doctor to see if she was able to help my mom. 


It is always like this.  I can't get Mom to do a lot of normal medical treatment things, which is just hard.  Like her hip was painful and I tried to get her to get a cortisone shot.  She wouldn't hear of it.  She ended up permanently in a wheel chair, can't even go to the bathroom now and has to wear a diaper.  She needed a new hip, but I couldn't even get her to get a shot.  So I choose my battles and accept that in the end it is her life and her choices, and all I can do is try.


This is one of the ongoing frustrations in having  a loved one with schizophrenia.  But I also hear my friends with their older stubborn parents who are pretty much the same.  So, perhaps it's not that abnormal really.  We all have to just leave these ones we loved in the hands of God and let Him ultimately take care of them.  We are just helpers, but not the all powerful ones.  He is. 

Little Debbie Cakes

I visited my Mom tonight, which I do every two weeks.  I always bring her a McDonald's Quarter Pounder with Cheese, Small Fry, Large Diet, and an apple pie.  She loves it.  Last time I came she had asked me to bring "Little Debbie White Cakes" or Vanilla Cream Cookies.  I wasn't sure what cakes she wanted so I got two kinds.


When I showed her the loot, she said, "Oh that's way too much for me." 
"Well just pick which you want Mom and I'll take the rest home."
"Oh, well, which do you want honey?" She lovingly asked.
"I'll take the vanilla cream cookies." I stated.
"I want those!" she confessed.  I just cracked up. Why did she ask me then?  Silly woman.
"Go ahead Mom, take them.  I got them for you."  She tried to be giving, but the woman always loved cookies the most.  I should have known.


I also got her a new turquoise wallet.  I think it was about $15 which is not expensive for me, but much more than she would spend on a wallet.  She loved it.


"I'm gonna practice opening it and closing it," she adorably said as she just enjoyed handling her new prize.


Then "I'm gonna practice putting it in my purse." and in and out of her purse it went.  It was just so cute.


Finally she said, "This is the prettiest thing I've ever seen, next to you."


This is my Mom. Sweet. Cute.  Appreciative.  Loving.  Just a gem.  And I'm so blessed to just spend time with her.  

Cute stuff Mom says, and the situation today

Mom lives in a nursing home, and has since 1983.  She was only 47 when she moved in there.  But it has provided stability, safety and care for her and I'm not sure she would be around today at age 78 without that good home. 

In the early 1970's, public policy began calling for persons with mental illnesses to be integrated into society rather than living in institutions. Efforts to aid persons in this transition lacked, and over time assistance has fallen far behind the need.  My mom was very fortunate to land in a nursing home compared to what happened to so many others.  Many others ended up on the streets homeless, causing them to get sicker, and have premature deaths and incarceration.  Today about 30% of the people in jails and prisons are sick with mental illnesses, and not getting the appropriate care and treatment they need.  Instead, they are being punished.  Now that is crazy.  But we can do something about it.  Two simple things:

1. Donate to Thresholds, a great organization that gets people off the streets, helps them get treatment, housing, and all they need to live safe and healthy lives.  You can learn more at thresholds.org.

2. If you live in Illinois (or any state really), call your state reps and let them know you are opposed to them cutting funding to help the mentally ill and homeless.  I know we need to fix our budget crisis, but it can not be at the expense of the most sick and vulnerable in our society. 

Now for another cute story about my adorable mom.

I call Mom every week to check in. One week the conversation gave me my usual chuckle.

“Helloooo?” Mom answered.

“Hi Mom, it’s me. How are you?”

“Well not too good. This cranky old man keeps crashing into me with his walker.”

“Oh sorry to hear that Mom.”

“Yeah, his wife brought him in because he was acting goofy.”

New Blog

What is this blog about?  Well, I hope to entertain you a bit by sharing the cute and funny stories about my adorable Mom.  I've been doing this on Facebook for a while and folks seem to really love them, so here we go.  

I have a secret mission - no longer to be a secret.  I hope to educate you on the disease my mom has, and how we can help people who are less fortunate than her who have it.  Her disease: schizophrenia.   Already you have thoughts on what that is, and most likely they are not too accurate but just what you heard or saw in movies and what not.  One thing to tell you right away - it's not split personality.  That's a whole different illness.   It's also not a choice of someone.  Third, people with this illness are not catatonic, nonsensible, weird, etc..  With my mom you really have to look hard to even see it in her.  It's quite subtle.   

Now for a little entertainment.  I asked Mom to explain to my new husband Roger why she and I like to buy so many new and cool shoes.  She said, "Well, if your feet look good, you feel good."  You know, Roger did understand then after Mom explained it that way.  Mom is right - looking down at feet in nice looking shoes, it does make me feel good.  That's the sweet and true wisdom of my Mom.   You’ll see more as I share in this blog.  Hope you enjoy it.